The Deep Clean

Wow - with a title that interesting, who wouldn't keep reading!

About 3 times a year, I go through my house and do a deep clean.  Not a spring cleaning where everything gets washed... no.  More of a reorganization day.  Hopefully I have energy left after this to actually wash things.  It's debatable.


Not to bore you with all of the details - but I go through each bedroom, and create piles.  There's the "Boys room" pile, "Naomi's room" pile,  "twins room," "basement," "living room toy bin," "dirty laundry," and of course "garbage."  With 7 people in one house, things get all misplaced ALL THE TIME.  And my husband (whom I love dearly) is a stuffer.  He likes things to look tidy (NOT implying that I don't), so he will open up a bin, and put whatever he sees on the floor into that bin.  If it's on the floor - it's going in the bin.  Anything.  Anything at all... stuffed in a bin. 

I am a sanitizer.  I like things tidy, but I would much rather bleach everything.  Also, I will leave things all over the floor because I do not have the time at that moment to put things in the exact bin where they need to go. 

We live in a constant tension.  Stuffers and bleachers cohabitating.  I know.  Real problems. 

I'm rambling (couldn't be that I'm trying to avoid ... the deep clean?!?!) 

Before you judge me (Don't you judge me!), we do make our kids clean up their rooms.  But the thing is... they suck at it.  They try, and I appreciate it.  But sometimes (3 times a year, apparently) it just takes mom to go through and do it right.

So as I was upstairs and my 5 lovely children were downstairs watching television, I thought of some things that should NOT be said to me while I am doing this chore.  Things that I thought of, well, because they were said to me... In no particular order.

"Wow mom, this room sure is a mess.  You have a lot of work to do."  Thanks, Captain Obvious.  I was unaware. Now get. out. of. your. room. 

"Mom, you might want to start with my dresser - it's really trashed."  How did it get that way? Know what... nevermind... just get. out. of. your. room.

"Mom, can I have some ice water?"  Sure - just get a cup of ice water...  "But I want YOU to get it for me... pleeeeease?"  No.  No I will not.  <twitch>

"Mom, ______ won't get away from me on the couch."   Oh, did you ask him to move away from you?  "No.  Can you come talk to him?"  No.  No I will not. <twitch... twitch>

(Names have been omitted to protect the *innocent*) 

But to show what a saint I am married to, Jerry came home, saw the disarray of "Mid-Deep-Cleaning" and took ... wait for it ... ALL FIVE kids to the grocery store with him.  I am in my house BY MYSELF!!!!  Plus, to add frosting to the beautiful home alone cake, he is also going to put air in the tire on my van!  (I may have an irrational fear of inflating things. What if it explodes! Right in my face!!! How terrifying!) (It's an irrational fear - you won't be able to explain me out of it.  That's what makes it irrational...but thanks for the thought.)

Ok.  Off to continue.  I am 2 bedrooms in.  I can do this.  I CAN DO THIS!!!!  <Raaaaarrrrr!!!!>  (But I might just sit in the silence for a tad bit longer... it is really beautiful...)