As long as I can remember, I have been unable to breathe someone else's breath. If someone exhales too closely to my face, I either hold my breath or stealthily turn to the side to inhale fresh air. I can't even recall how long this has been a phobia of mine. As long as I can remember, I suppose.
You might think that this doesn't happen very often. And I guess if I were single, it would happen less... or if I didn't have so many kids... But even before all of that - there are front-facing whisperers, close-talkers, dogs (dogs!), other oxygen-stealing beings. You might be surprised how many things might exhale right in your breathing space.
I tried finding the source of this. There is no phobia that I could find. I did read that carbon dioxide triggers a primordial fear of suffocation in mice. Does my brain really pick up on the CO2 differences? Or is it just yet another irrational fear?
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| Look how happy breathing oxygen makes a person! |
Usually I can get by with this not even being a noticeable issue. Other times, I just look like a crazy person. Snuggling with a child in my lap as they try to smush their cheek against mine (awwww... so sweet...). Only they can't, because I am constantly recoiling, trying to get my nose away from their dirty, already breathed breath.
The biggest culprit of breathing my air? My loving husband. Snuggling up at bed time, it's like an intense tango. He faces me, blowing his hot wasted air right into my oxygen-zone. I scoot my nose to aim higher than his nose to still be able to breathe cool, refreshing, oxygenated air. He notices the slight adjustment, and raises the level of his nose. I pull my head further back, putting distance and a greater angle between my source of living air and the garbage pit of CO2 air... he leans in to snuggle closer... Finally I turn my head and gasp. Fresh, glorious, clean air! And I turn over. And go to sleep. Although I won't bore you with mushy details, I have also adapted to a breathing technique similar to an Olympic freestyle swimmer used during kissing, lest I suffocate and die.
See - I'm not crazy. Right? I mean, someone already BREATHED that air. It's used. It's not even the smell. Or the warmth of it. It's knowing that someone sucked the oxygen right out of it, and blew waste air where oxygenated air should be. I can't be the only one with this, right? I mean, it totally makes sense... right? Right?!?!? And don't be throwing "science" and "facts" at me... Nobody needs any of that now!
Oh well. I've survived this long having to fight for my own rights to oxygen and it's worked pretty well for me. I suppose I can continue on my lone quest. Wish me luck!
