Homeschool: Because what mother wants a clean home and alone time?

I have never really put out there the whole "why did you choose to homeschool" story.  Partly because I wasn't so sure myself.  So here it is.  The nitty gritty of why I am now a homeschool mom. 

First let me preface by saying that I had a mental calendar from the time that the twins shot into this world as to how long before I was home alone in my house....  5 years until kindergarten, then blissful, beautiful, time to clean and organize by myself time.  I can do this.  I can do 5 years...  We'll make it, somehow. 

Then a couple of years ago, there was a nudge.  I ignored it as best as I could.  Homeschool?  Only weirdos homeschool (we'll get to that later... ahem!).  Sometimes when God nudges, I think it's just to see if you are awake.  I was awake.  So I let it go. 

Then closer to Christmas time, the nudging got a little pushier.  I remember sitting in Noah's parent/teacher conference, discussing his behavior issues, and looking at his test scores.  I was curious as to what his reading level was, since he has been reading flawlessly and fluently since he was 4.  Well, there wasn't really an answer, because the schools only test to a certain level and no higher.  Oh.  Ok.  But (!!!) the computer lab program that they use allows for them to actually achieve their level with no limitations (phew...).  So that was good... at least twice a week he would have the opportunity of being challenged... and for the rest of school week, he can practice trying to behave in a classroom.  (I later found out at spring conferences, once I already knew that we would be homeschooling, that the computer program glitched out and nobody caught it - he had been stuck getting 100% on 1st grade for the entire year.  I wanted to scream...)  But still - we were back in November and I rationalized it.  Ok, we read at home a lot... he'll get his reading in... he'll be fine.  We're fine.

Then there was Ethan.  Knowing he was on the spectrum (that's another blog... here is one I wrote when we got the diagnosis http://nettandjerry.blogspot.com/2008/05/up-to-speed.html) we would have IEP meetings.  He was so high functioning that he never qualified for any services (which is awesome!) and we felt it was so important to keep him in mainstream school for the socialization that he would need to help him along.  But there were also some frustrations academic-wise.  His strength is math.  The kid has been doing multiplication in his head since before kindergarten.  No joke.  But he so very much LOVED the establishment of school, that it was never a problem.  No behavior issues here!  He will sit and learn how to add with no problems at all.  But seriously - math is my THING, so I knew we would just to math at home, and eventually when it was offered at different levels in school, he could jump into a high level. 

OH!  And I called the guy in charge of gifted/talented programming for the district.  He said his budget for the YEAR for that program was $36... and for me to let him know when I decided to homeschool because then he could lead me to some resources.  So those issues were there... just kinda lingering.  But if you are talking about challenging my children in math/reading vs. them not being all up in my business all day while I take care of 3 OTHER kids... No contest.  You're going to school.  But the homeschool seed was there.  Just needed some watering. 

Enter Christmas Break.  It was an awesome Christmas break, hanging out with the family.  The twinnies were 2 and old enough to be .. well, everything you expect 2 year old twins to be.  As it neared time for them to go back, Ethan started having anxiety issues.  What if he forgets to write his name on his paper... (This happened in the fall once and his teacher threw his paper away.  It affected bedtime for WEEKS with the anxiety. Thanks, Teach.)  So in trying to calm Ethan down, Noah started up.  He would cry and cry because he didn't want to go back to school.  It took too long and it was so boring and he wished he didn't have to go back (please keep reading, lest you think this is the reason we homeschool...)  What that DID do, was place the idea of "time" in my head. 

I started thinking about it.  The bus comes to pick them up at 8am, and drops them off at 4pm.  My children are gone forty hours a week.  A full time job.  I started picturing them wearing little bowler caps and carrying brief cases.  Which was funny.  But ridiculous.  40 hours.  Time.  Time was a big, big thing.  It started wearing on my heart.  They were gone from the time they woke up until the time I started making dinner, which is crazy-time in the Rice house.  Then dinner, bath, bedtime.  There was no time for family time.  There was no time to just BE.  Plus add in extras - more time.  Scouts, Upward sports, Wednesday church.  We really don't go overboard with activities, but when you are dealing with 5 kids and 3 hours of non-school time a day... anyway.  OH!  And an annoyance more than anything (but it really affected my brain) was "reading time."  Ethan had a reading log.  He had to read every. Single. Night.  Fair enough - we read a lot.  But he had to read by himself.  Out loud, so I could hear.  And some nights, when you have 4 siblings, that does not happen!  I asked him one time, "Hey, how about you get your reading time in at school, because I know you get done with your work early..." To which he responded, "No, my teacher said I have to read at home."  I was irritated at how this was teaching poor time management.  Sit here idle, and take your family time to read by yourself...

Then there was Naomi.  At the time she was in preschool.  It was Great Start preschool, which we LOVE!  It's like HeadStart, except you can get in for risk factors instead of just income.  Which is totally awesome, because my kids have tons of risk factors!  (Ha... I guess it would be better if they didn't?? But at the screening we were like, "She's got arthritis, a brother with autism, she's had speech and physical delays... we are so IN!!!")  Anyway, it's an awesome preschool program that was so much like Junior Kindergarten that we knew she would be ready for kindergarten!  Except she is young.  And she would still have days even in the spring where she would cry getting on the bus.  Luckily, we had an awesome and amazing bus driver (who even held her when she cried so hard she threw up on her bus....) so I felt ok sending her.  But then our district (I hear state-wide) went to all-day kindergarten.  All. Day.  My 4 year old (because her birthday is November 10).  Gone 40 hours a week.  No way, Jose.  Academically she was ready.  Emotionally she was totally not.  But there was no longer a Junior Kindergarten option - it went away with all day kindergarten. 

These are some of the head reasons why.  Maybe touched on a couple heart issues.  But the real, true issues had to do with prayer.  The nudging turned into elbow jabs, and things started to get real.  I would pray for a sign.  "God... if You really want me to homeschool, please give me a sign."  Then BAM.  A sign.  "Ok, God... that was nice.  But if You really want me to homeschool, please give me another sign." BAM BAM.  Another sign.  I would pray for specific things... "If You REALLY want me to homeschool, let one of my kids ask about it."  Noah one day, out of the blue, "Mom - what does homeschool mean?"  Good one, God.  "God, if you REALLY want me to homeschool, have my kids mention You and school together..."  Ethan randomly "Our principal said that we aren't allowed to mention God in school."  (I called the teacher and she never heard this, so before anyone freaks out...) (Also, I told him that he most certainly could!)  I was Gideon, facing a huge army (homeschool) and I asked for every version of the wet/dry fleece thing (Judges 6).  Here is a funny, quirky sign... I was like, hey, I remember my kindergarten boyfriend (don't you judge me!) - he stopped going to our school and was homeschooled... I'll see if he's on Facebook and ask him about it.  Yep.  He was.  And guess what - he is married and just got out of seminary.  Did he turn out ok? Of course he did.  <sigh> 

So some things to know for certain.  1) I have NOTHING against the public school system.  I was public schooled, so was Jerry.  We both loved it. I always feel like I should defend it when people find out that I homeschool. 2) Teachers are underpaid!  (I have always thought this.  If you question it, feel free to homeschool... you'll find out right quick.)  3) I didn't do it solely for academic reasons (although both boys grade-bumped at home - so it definitely is nice to challenge them in that way)  4) I didn't do it for overly-conservative Christian reasons (although there's nothing wrong with that reason)  5) I didn't really want this!!!!!  I didn't want to.  Asking for all of those signs?  It was because I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE THE ANSWER.  I was not joking when I said that I wanted some alone time.  Time to clean... time to watch the Price is Right.  Time to have coffee with friends.  God just had other plans.  I have since grown into it and accepted it.  But seriously this wasn't like "I know what I want to do. I'm bored.  I think I'll keep my kids home and teach them!"  6) Homeschool is NO JOKE.  Ugh.  I was literally held hostage to my kitchen table while twin toddlers ran rampant, destroying my home.  Laundry piled up, dishes piled up, the house was trashed.  7) I wouldn't have it any other way now.  I know this really IS what is best for my kids (like God knew that already or something... huh.)  I love that they can have swim lessons in the middle of the day and not during our family time.  I love that I can sit with them and teach them.  I love (most of the time) that I can deal with behavior issues as they come up.  There is so much molding and shaping that I want to happen with my children that I am now able to do. 

So that comment earlier about how I didn't want to homeschool because only weirdos homeschool?  I think of the winner of the National Spelling Bee, or the kid that whispers to himself after he talks... then I look at my kids and I giggle.  Those are MY KIDS.  Noah seriously repeats himself in a whisper sometimes (it's called palilalia and actually is common among children who are overly verbal and excellent readers.... who knew.)  Ethan, who will calculate how fast we are driving based on the distance vs time.  In his head.  I could go on and on - maybe a blog some day called "When Engineers Procreate" 

Whew - this was lengthy.  I am open to questions.  Or none.  I have next year's curriculum already in my basement, and I am already tweaking my plans so that it can be even more enjoyable than this year. (My sister is laughing right now... shush your mouth, Dar!)  Ok, so some days are really, really hard.  But we made it through, and to me, being obedient to the call on me was worth it.  And to those who have asked - yes, after the first year, I still am going to homeschool next year.  Lord willing!