I am apparently very hip

As a rule, I pretty much don't like anything new.  Sure it takes a while for people to accept change.  I get that.  I'm not alone there.  I suppose my dislike comes from the fact that most "new" ideas are man-made, chemical-laden shortcuts that will no doubt in 20 years prove harmful to us.  And we as a people will be very surprised by these negative side effects.  It really doesn't take too much research to find examples of how we have destroyed ourselves with our improvements.  DDT? Medicinal breakthroughs, shortly followed by commercials of "Did you suffer _____ while taking _____?"  (There are more examples.  But my coffee consumption is not complete - so I'll just allow some personal reflection time to think of other life-changing chemicals that have later proven a horrible mistake...)

GrumpyCat.com with an opinion on passing trends

 (Ok, so maybe I just really love Grumpy Cat...)

So imagine my surprise when I hear about a "new" healthy lifestyle trend that doesn't involve chemicals.  It's called "earthing."  Have you heard of it?  I'll save you the google time if you haven't.  The basic gist of it?  You walk outside.  Barefoot.  There is some shady scientific studies about the electric grounding of the earth, and how we have become a society of indoor, shoe-wearing people having lost connection to the earth.  It is supposed to help most of your ailments.  I'm skeptical - but I'm listening. 

See, I've been practicing this magical cure for the past 34 years of my life.  Maybe part of me is a bit jealous that someone had the smarts to name it and market it.  Maybe I am like that lady in that one patent-your-idea infomercial "Cleaning with orange oil... that was MY idea!!!"  Maybe there is 16 years worth of "I told you so!" rumbling to all the people that have looked at me and said things like "Doesn't being out here barefoot hurt your feet?"  No! I am curing myself the hip way! 

If it ended with just walking outside barefoot, I would be less skeptical.  I really think that God did an amazing job with that whole Creation thing - and therefore would not be surprised that He would want us to spend time in it and pay attention to it. 

But wait!  There's MORE!!!  Of COURSE we would come up with a better way to go "earthing!"  No time to walk outside barefoot?  No worries.  For the low, low price of $199, you can get your very own Earthing Starter Kit.  <sound of screeching tires>  What?!?!  Yes.  You can BUY the power of earth.... Which is when the skepticism kicks in, right?  You plug the stuff into the ground hole in your outlet, and *voila* - you are "earthing."  There is a whole line of ways to get that beneficial grounding without actually stepping one foot outside!  Earthing mats for your feet while you sit at the computer.  Earthing sheets for your bed.  You can potentially be "earthing" 24/7!!! (if you call witihn the next 27 minutes...)

I envision the following happening at some point in the future... ~ ~ ~ ~ (entering the dream world inside my brain) ~ ~ ~ ~  An entrepreneur in New York City realizes the extreme benefit of earthing, and the total lack of available earthing space in the big city.  He builds a relatively small box, fills it with dirt and grass seed.... Earthing vendor: Complete.  He charges $35 for 15 minutes of earthing.  People line up around the block for a chance to go earthing!  The government gets wind of this site, and realizes it is not regulated.  Bare feet? Without a sanitation station?  The EPA and FDA get involved.  The vendor is fined.  His earth confiscated.  A new branch of government is created to produce rules and regulations regarding earthing sites.  People caught barefoot outside of a regulated earthing site are arrested and fined....  ~ ~ ~ ~  (exiting the crazy world in my brain...) ~ ~ ~ ~

Am I the only one who thinks the entire thing is just a bit too "Wall-E" to be real?  Can't you envision the pilot of the Axiom reading about it, and once they are free from the robot oppression, encouraging everyone to go earthing?  <sigh>

Maybe my issue with earthing is that I am not comfortable doing things that are hip.  I have a flip phone from the 90s that doesn't text, for Pete's sake!  More probable is that I am not comfortable with people getting paid cash dollars for this idea.  Maybe it's because I am barefoot and outside a GREAT deal of time, yet still have thyroid issues, aches and pains... my children are outside barefoot even more than me, and they have their own slew of medical diagnoses...

So although I will refrain from purchasing their amazing earthing products, I suppose for the time being, I will have to allow myself to be trendy and join the earthing movement.  Until they all move on to something else that will be a miraculous cure... then I'll return to being silly, lame Nett - walking outside barefoot when everyone knows that it's not cool anymore...