Our Crazy Christmas Tradition

You know how when you do something for a long time, you don't realize it's weird until one day you are like, wow... that's really messed up.  Well, that is pretty much what happened this year with our Christmas tradition. 

Now before I go any further, may I lay a disclaimer out there (why do all of my posts seem to start with a disclaimer!?!):  I love Jesus.  And Christmas!  I love love LOVE it.  As for my husband?  Try to get him to NOT talk about Jesus - I dare you.  So we aren't just a "fair-weather Christmas" family.  Now that THAT'S out of the way, let me weave a little history for you...

When I was in 7th grade, my dad had triple bypass open heart surgery.  It was scheduled for early December, and he wanted to see everything decorated for Christmas before he went in to the hospital.    We decorated early that year - I'm guessing around Thanksgiving time. (We may have decorated early before this point, but this is the time I remember very clearly.) Now this was way back in the very early 90s, and decorating right after Halloween just wasn't a thing yet - most people waited until near Christmas to decorate and Christmas music wasn't played on the radio until December.

Another tradition we had was that our big celebration was always on Christmas Eve.  Christmas morning was just for Santa gifts and enjoying all of the presents.  (In fact, a special treat for Christmas dinner was SpeedyQ nachos because Happy Birthday, Jesus, these are awesome nachos!!!!) 

We're Fast & Friendly... and have amazing nachos!!!!!

So now that I have a family of my own, we follow a lot of the same traditions.  Thanksgiving weekend we go and cut down our live tree and decorate our house for Christmas.  We sing Christmas carols for the entire month of December.  Our big Christmas celebration is on Christmas Eve where we get a grotesque amount of Chinese food, open all of the gifts to each other, then head off to church.  Christmas Day is Santa gifts (3 for each kid), stocking candy, and a birthday party for Jesus (a good reason to eat cake.) 

And then... our traditions take a slight detour.  After opening the last gifts from Santa, and shoving all of the candy into individually labeled gallon-size Ziplock bags, something just comes over Jerry and me.  We look at each other, catching glances here and there... I see the look in his eye, and he knows I'm thinking the same thing.... THIS CHRISTMAS TREE HAS GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!! You see, after having a "live" (read: dying more each day) tree taking up half of the living room for an entire month, well, we just want that living space back.


This year was exceptionally executed.  We had that tree down before lunch on Christmas Day.  I used to feel self-conscious in the front picture window taking down the tree before the day was even over.  Used to.  However this year I am fairly certain that the type of tree we cut down was the rare Razor Needle Pine.  This thing was brutal.  Opening presents from Santa in pajamas was like a test of strength and endurance to anyone who dared to get close enough to the tree.  Normally the needles just poke, hurt, and fall out.  These ones stuck.  Like getting attacked by a porcupine.  It pretty much made our entire living room off-limits.  And when there are seven people living in one house, we need that space. 

That's right, angel that's about to fall off of the tree... You're coming DOWN today!

If it was just the tree coming down, it wouldn't seem that awful.  I have great reasons as to why it "should" come down as soon as possible.  Even though it feels a bit Castanza-ish, "We will take down the tree after the airing of grievances!" - I can rationalize why it is necessary.  But... it doesn't end with the tree...

And thus begins... the Christmas Purge.  

Ah yes, the Christmas Purge.   That delightful Christmas tradition where we go through the entire house top to bottom armed with garbage bags and disinfectant and we clean/organize/rearrange everything in sight.  I worked for twelve hours Christmas Day going through the three bedrooms upstairs.  Twelve. Hours.  And MAN, did it feel good!  Game pieces put in their respective boxes, broken toys thrown away, and garbage (GARBAGE!!!) collected out of every room.  Each room had at least one large black garbage bag full of junk to take out.  Forever leaving my home.  Never to come back...  At one point Ethan came up, saw me throwing things away, and got anxious.  "What are you throwing away, mom?"  Garbage.  "But what garbage?"  It's garbage, go play with your new Christmas presents!  (It all worked out though, because when I was done in their room and he saw that not only could he now CLOSE his closet doors, he could also see what was IN the closet, he was cool with it.)

The day after Christmas was spent entirely in the basement.  Cleaning, organizing, pitching junk, purging...  The kids went down after we were done and said "Wow, it looks like a mansion down here!"  Well, hardly... but thank you. 

We ended up with 15 large black garbage bags full.  Plus broken appliances, old rusted out filing cabinets, a large cabinet from the 60s...  It looked like an episode of Hoarders out there.  It.... was..... AWESOME!!!! (I was going to have Jerry help the garbage men today, but after garbage pickers came through it looked more like a *normal* amount - meaning it didn't take up the entire curb in front of our house anymore...)  Our house took in a deep breath of Christmas cheer, and exhaled an entire truckload of junk. 

So there you have it.  Weird? Maybe... Unorthodox? Perhaps.  The best gift that one anal-retentive, OCD, clean-freak can give to another?  Absolutely!

I once heard a comedian say that everyone thinks their family is normal -- until they go to college.  I giggle at the thought of my kids finding out what *normal* families do on Christmas Day.  It makes me giggle a lot....

Merry Christmas!  And no matter how you celebrate, may you have a blessed New Year!!!!!